First Post

I was in the middle of confusion when i finally decide to make a blog.

Why the confusion? Simple, i just have no idea what to do, what to think, and what to say.
When you started to feel yourself slowly disappearing, you'll see that you'll stop caring about everything.

Nothing really matters.

Not a good thing. Definitely. So, i try to make myself busy. By making a blog.

So, this is it. My very first post. They say first things are specials. First love, first kiss, first birthday. Honestly, i don't know how to make it special, or interesting so i'll just report what i do and what i think at this moment. Maybe, no one will ever read this. But i won't lie, people who starts to open themselves in public want to be noticed. So do i. I don't expect people to care, but we can always hope, can't we?

Today's Sunday, March 8th 2015. 12:47 pm.

Sitting in a corner of a public Internet Cafe, with my besties.
With a glass of cheap cappuchino, and slow internet access (I am not complaining, i'm just reporting the facts.)

In my table, my ladies busied themselves with their gadget, Dian, she is puzzled with her earphone, which apparently plugged into the microphone plug. There's no sound coming out, when she watched an anime, and it's pretty hilarious watching her confused with the earphone. I can't really tell what Pia and Leti did with their gadgets. They sit there silently, like stones. Typing things, blank expressions, eyes down on the screen.

There's a guy sitting right beside our table. Looking so seriously, but probably, he was just playing Clash of Clans. Another guy seems to watch youtube, and two tables behind us, there are people who noisily discuss something. Can't catch what they talk about. Not that it's really my business to know their conversation. I don't converse very much myself, and that costs me most of the awkward moments in my life,

It feels sort of weird, writing things like this. Observing people around me, making comments, and speculating things about it. I'm not a psychoanalysis expert or something, but i really have a thing for it. I hate when i just realized that sometimes things weren't just the way i see them. I judge people so oftenly, but the same conclusion always come in the end: who am i to judge? i got no right to tell them the rightness/wrongness of their actions. This thought turns off my caring nerves, and maybe that's why they told me i am some sort of autistic, and antisocial, so full of my own universe and abandoning the real happenings around me.

That's not true, though. I'm pretty sure i'm not autistic or antisocial. They don't even understand what is autistic, or antisocial means (neither do I, anyway). But, then again, crazy people don't know they are crazy, right?

So back to the point, reading back my random talk in this post, i am seriously thinking about whether i am crazy or not. And i'm running out of ideas and thoughts to comment, soooo i guess this is a wrap. I'll write again later, soon.